Chuck versus the Livejournal

[Chuck sighs and runs his hands through his hair.]

All right, I have to explain. During the flood I could, for some extremely stupid reason, only speak in movie quotes. If you think it was annoying, you have no idea how I felt. That said, some of what came out of my mouth was not, strictly speaking, true. For example, I was not raised by a crazy Belgian. The truth is actually more complicated than that.

Like, way more complicated.

But whatever. Flood's over. I just thought I owed you guys an explanation.

[Chuck opens his eyes and stares at the camera, looking slightly unfocused. He's in the infirmary, and a little battered-looking. There's a bruise on his face and a cut above his eyebrow...and more stuff that the camera can't see.]

Ow, my head hurts. I really need to stop getting concussed, it can't be good for the--[He catches himself.] --my health. At least it wasn't a steel beam this time...even though it felt like a steel beam...

[He runs a hand through his hair. And stops.]

Where is most of my hair?

[He turns to show the back of his head to the camera. His hair is definitely shorter and shaggier in the back than it used to be. You can blame that one on the Aztecs.]

This isn't because of surgery, is it? No, I don't feel a suture. Great. I think someone attacked my hair with pruning shears. That's really attractive.

[Then he glances around the infirmary.]

All things considered? I guess I have it pretty okay. I should get discharged soon, but I think they want to keep me overnight because of the concussion.

I really, really, really love this whole flood business.

Really.

It's better than Black Friday at the Buy More.

Because during Black Friday? I totally am forced by an unknowable magical water thing to lie.

And I definitely don't hope it ends anytime soon. Not at all.