01. - Video - Don't freak out.

[intersected]

[The camera comes on, revealing a nervous-looking young man in his late 20s. A Tron poster is visible behind him.]

H-hi, hello, Barge. Hi.

Name's Chuck, Chuck Bartowski, I, uh, I fix computers and things. It's my job. Also for fun.

I hope I can help an inmate, I mean, I want to help an inmate. Or many inmates. And it's good to, you know, just get away for a while. It's pretty crazy back at home and there's a whole lot of stuff going on and I'm just going to stop talking now, wow, it is really easy to just keep talking to this little journal thing.

[He claps once, then rubs his hands together.] So, uh...until I'm assigned, if anyone wants to play Call of Duty or something? Or Halo, or...whatever? I'm your man.

[Aaand cue the nervous, derpy grin!]

Comments

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

[Look who's all herp-de-derp and doesn't really remember Fourth Wall Day due to 1) him being from the writers' strike at the time and 2) Barge amnesia.]

...yes...?

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

It's me, it's Claire...from, like, a few days ago?


....no?

He's so adorable when he's confused.

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

[And nooowwww it starts to sink in. That's why she looks so familiar! And probably another thing.]

Days...?

Oh, God! This is -- this is that Barge! With the network thing! [How did you forget that, dummy? Did the Intersect 2.0 just kind of rewrite that part of your brain?]

Claire, that was like two years ago! What the hell's going on?

Trufax.

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

Two YEARS? [she basically yells this.]

It was last week!

[Wtf, Barge.]

So, you're actually here here. I can walk out of my room and meet you somewhere and you'll be there.

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

Yeah, definitely two years ago. It wasn't too long after Awesome - er, Devon - proposed to my sister. And they got married last spring.

[Indeed, Barge. WTF.]

Uh, yeah! I'm here, I'm on board, in...hold on just a sec.

[He runs to the door to check the number on it, and also which floor he's on.]

Room 16, level 4, is where I am right now.

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

Weird.

[And really, it's all she has to offer.]

I'm on the second floor. Are you a Warden, then?

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I know, right?

[You thought your life was weird before, Chuck? Prepare for it to get LOADS weirder.]

Uh-huh, I'm a Warden. And...you are too, right? Am I remembering that correctly?

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

[Nods.] Yeah, with the loving Inmate? [Dry laugh. Still, she was glad to have Armand.]

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

Right. The vampire. [Chuckle.] I wonder who I'll be assigned to.

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

You should be in the clear for a bit, we just did assignments recently.

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

Oh, okay. Good.

So how often do those come around? Like, every week, once a month...?

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

If all goes well? Twice a month.

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

If all goes well. And if all doesn't?

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

[Winces.] Has anyone told you about floods and Ports?

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

I...think I missed the memo on that one.

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

The Admiral? Isn't the best driver, so we flood sometimes. And it usually has some sort of effect, like making you tell the truth and only the truth or turning you into a kid. And then when he can navigate, we land at Port. We've been to places from ancient Rome to Disneyworld to holiday appropriate spots.

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

Oh, okay. [Not a fan of the truth flood. Not at all.]

How often do these things happen?

ignore icon.

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

[snorts.]

There's no schedule to those, Chuck. Sorry. But they do happen every month, I can at least tell you that.

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

Right. Well, at least I know to keep an eye out for floods...and ports seem kind of nice, I guess.

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

Look, I really don't want to freak you out so soon, but not all of them are nice.

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

Please don't tell me there's a port made of needles.

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

What?

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

I really don't like needles.

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

Oh, well...not that we've ever been to, no.

...do you really want to know some of the more horrible ports?

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

I guess it's better than going in uninformed.

I'm probably going to regret asking, aren't I?