01. - Video - Don't freak out.

[intersected]

[The camera comes on, revealing a nervous-looking young man in his late 20s. A Tron poster is visible behind him.]

H-hi, hello, Barge. Hi.

Name's Chuck, Chuck Bartowski, I, uh, I fix computers and things. It's my job. Also for fun.

I hope I can help an inmate, I mean, I want to help an inmate. Or many inmates. And it's good to, you know, just get away for a while. It's pretty crazy back at home and there's a whole lot of stuff going on and I'm just going to stop talking now, wow, it is really easy to just keep talking to this little journal thing.

[He claps once, then rubs his hands together.] So, uh...until I'm assigned, if anyone wants to play Call of Duty or something? Or Halo, or...whatever? I'm your man.

[Aaand cue the nervous, derpy grin!]

Comments

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

If all goes well. And if all doesn't?

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

[Winces.] Has anyone told you about floods and Ports?

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

I...think I missed the memo on that one.

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

The Admiral? Isn't the best driver, so we flood sometimes. And it usually has some sort of effect, like making you tell the truth and only the truth or turning you into a kid. And then when he can navigate, we land at Port. We've been to places from ancient Rome to Disneyworld to holiday appropriate spots.

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

Oh, okay. [Not a fan of the truth flood. Not at all.]

How often do these things happen?

ignore icon.

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

[snorts.]

There's no schedule to those, Chuck. Sorry. But they do happen every month, I can at least tell you that.

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

Right. Well, at least I know to keep an eye out for floods...and ports seem kind of nice, I guess.

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

Look, I really don't want to freak you out so soon, but not all of them are nice.

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

Please don't tell me there's a port made of needles.

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

What?

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

I really don't like needles.

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

Oh, well...not that we've ever been to, no.

...do you really want to know some of the more horrible ports?

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

I guess it's better than going in uninformed.

I'm probably going to regret asking, aren't I?

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

Yes.

We've done a carnival gone wrong because of a riot, a world run by a supremacist where anyone 'not normal' was exiled, a haunted house of terror with the wardens locked up in the basement where only their inmates could free them...Pleasantville and the fairy tale world had their ups and downs.

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

Oh. [He does his best lineface here.]

Well, that's just super, Claire. Please tell me we don't usually do return visits.

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

I've been here three years as of October and while we've had similar floods, we've never been back to the same Port twice.

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

That's some small comfort, I guess.

So what are the floods like? I'm guessing those aren't all sunshine and kittens either.

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

[Heavy, heavy, slow sigh.]

You're going to hate me before we even meet face to face, Chuck.

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

What? No! I mean, I'm starting to rethink my vacation plans, but I'm not going to hold this place against you.

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

[Groans.]

Fine.

We've been turned into kids, forced to tell only the truth, forced to tell only lies, had our genders swapped, turned into our Halloween costumes, been turned into animals...that answer enough for you?

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

[Stupefied silence while he processes all that. Then, weakly:]

Not all at once, I hope.

[some-kinda-hero.livejournal.com]

[Chuckles.]

No, Chuck, not all at once.

[scruffynerdhrdr.livejournal.com]

Oh. Okay.

[A shaky smile.]

I think I might be able to handle that.